/// cybernetic dreams ///


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Here you will find a lot of ranting, venting and general insanity.

> Monsters are among us
...and they even look exactly like us.
Of course I don't mean skinwalkers or any other paranormal stuff.
I mean a specific type of person you might find repulsing and evil. Each one of us has a different idea of where to draw the line and consider someone evil. Some are very tolerant or simply blind to this, some very aware.
The whole idea is very simple: people in our surroundings might not be what you hoped for. It's really painful to see the dark side of someone you once considered a friend, or at least ok. And where do you draw the line? Is it one preference of such person, is it their lifestyle, is it their worldview? Again, each of us decides individually.
Have you ever been at your workplace, school, house and thought of someone "damn, (s)he's so horrible, how can a person like this live without any guilt and remorse?" Congratulations, you've met a monster.
It gets even weirder when you realize that your opinion is not objective. What you might find repulsing and disgusting might be desirable to someone else, thus rendering you "the bad and weird one". I'm not even talking about some weird extreme stuff, but the usual parts of life.
Would I consider myself a monster? Yes.

> Fear of death is irrational
There are two things guaranteed in life: taxes and death.

I'm honestly astounded by the level of ignorance or avoidance of some people, anger even. It's as if even bringing up the topic was a suicide attempt in their view. Yes, I've met such people.
You never know what a new day will bring and it's consequences. A stupid little accident like falling down the stairs might result in a lot of inconvenience or even, as you guessed, death. A regular medical checkup might reveal some bad news like cancer, a decision of a random stranger to have something strong to drink before driving would have the same consequence, but faster.
What now?
Do not order a coffin yet. It's not about embracing and expecting death, it's about acknowledging it exists. It's about trying to accomplish whatever you wish, enjoying little things. Do you have some free time on your hand? Use it to do whatever brings you joy. Are you too tired after work? That's okay, buy some cookies, fire up a nice movie and relax. I've always wanted my own website, and now I overcame my fear of learning html. It turned out not so bad honestly. Took me some time to mess around with all the stuff and put it all together, but there it is.
However, it turns out people get very upset when I mention how I want to be buried. Should I leave a note in my wallet then?

> Solitude should not be stigmatized
What's so wrong with not having a partner?
I really do not understand why people find it so upsetting. Maybe they feel like their needs are somehow challenged by someone else's choices? I don't know. I've met one person who did not try to convince me I don't know what my preferences are.
Oh, how many times I've heard "you will find your significant other", "every Jack has his Jill", "you will change your mind". Don't even get me started on being repulsed by fucking, they come up with even more ridiculous arguments.
Maybe shut the fuck up?
Besides, let's be honest, it takes a really bad taste to be attracted to someone like me.
Think of some food you genuinely despise, I mean the smell itself that makes you gag. Now imagine people insistng you would enjoy if you just tried some.

"But what about shirtles portraits and other weird stuff here?"
Anatomy is awesome, but I imagine Michelangelo did not wank while sculpting David. Not that I compare myself to Michelangelo, it's just to give you an idea of what I mean.

> Empathy? Bullshit!
Do you ever think to yourself how weird it is that people do not understand your stance on something? No matter what it is, just think of something that causes some fights for you. You try to rationalize your choices and opinions, and the only response is laughter, hostility and dismissal. You are very upset about this, because why won't they simply grasp something this obvious? Of course, there are some situations we all agree are not acceptable, but this entry is not about crime.
There are plenty of hills like that to die on. We all choose for ourselves, we ourselves know how we feel and what we need, and why. And yet there is always someone to be offended by this. And you know what's really funny? When you think you are righteous and helpful, yet cause harm to others. Have you heard about "wellness checks" because grown ass people bought something they might need? What do you think? Are you revolted? Yes, but at what? The fact that someone was raided by the police OR because they bought this thing?
And there's so many topics to be divided on, furious about. My point is: we think we have empathy, common sense. We think we do best, we want to give advice: "don't do this, this the worst thing that would ever happen!". And yet, despite our good intentions, we are in the wrong. Because some concepts are so alien to us, we simply do not grasp them. So which side is right then? Both and none. As long as you don't hurt anoyne in the process, who has the right to dictate what you should do? But then, some might think this decision would ruin you, so you shouldn't do it! You get it now? Whose truth is "more true"?
Expecting common understanding and acceptance is ridiculous. We desire different things in life. Some consider repulsive that which others crave. And there is no understanding.

> Why is everything
just why

Warning: I'm serious with all that